The 10 Best Excuses We’ve Heard For a Lost or Broken Retainer
Regardless of how you lost or broke it, I bet we’ve heard it before. Without further ado, here is our top ten list of excuses.
10. I accidently threw it away. Probably because you wrapped it in a napkin when you took it out to eat instead of putting it in your case am I right?
9. My dog ate it. It sounds like a trite excuse for missing homework but we hear this one almost as much as we hear #10.
8. I ran over it with the lawnmower. This kind of a teensy weensy little bit sounds like a made up explanation for something that was done ON PURPOSE!
7. I roller skated over it. True story.
6. I tried to clean it by boiling it. Listen. We can’t blame you for wanting to keep that thing squeaky clean but scrubbing it daily with your toothbrush is sufficient. Your retainer is heat sensitive.
5. My baby played with it. After you left it within the reach of an infant?
4. It’s in Northport Harbor. It’s a gold mine down there – hats, wallets, sunglasses, cell phones, and apparently retainers.
3. It’s sleeping with the fishes. Kind of associated with #4. Was it encased in cement before being flung into the sea/lake/creek? We do not know. We were too scared to ask.
2. I left it in Paris. I left it…in Paris… Let’s be honest. We have not heard this one a lot. Ok, Once. We’ve heard it once. I admit that I imagine this retainer not as lost but as enjoying a nice holiday. Picnicking in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, snacking on some lovely Brie de Meux on a toasted baguette after having spent the morning at the Louvre. ::sigh:: I suppose it’s illogical to be jealous of a retainer but I think I am.
1. I dropped a watermelon on it. What were the series of inopportune events that culminated in this tragedy? Not only have you smashed your retainer but you probably also ruined a perfectly delicious watermelon.
So there you have it folks. If you are close to getting your braces off keep in mind that the instructions for retainer wear and care that we give to you are for your benefit – to avoid situations like those detailed above.